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Sunday, May 31, 2009
_____________________

It was foolish of me to think that it is easy.
I can get away with it.
I will get used to it.
So much for that.
It's not easy at all.

And today I realize a mistake i made,
that I hope won't happen.

I've been pushing everything,
And I've been waiting,
So, that I could do it with you.

And now I know that,
I don't have too.
I will do whatever I want,
At any time I want too.

I'm in control of my life.

I was mood less today,
Cause I was expecting so much more.
The things that I wished you would do.
I felt like I was being used.
Like I didn't matter.

But I guess I was wrong.
I don't want to get trapped again with all my hopes.
This is the reality.

I have to take note of all the small things you did for me.
And appreciate it.
And I have to take the initiative.
I have to change my mind set.

It's hard for me.

Cause I felt all alone once again.
And I can't keep pinning hopes on you.
I can't blame anything.
It just how it is.

I understand better now.
And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.
I was just clouded by my own emotions.
And it gets the better of me.

I hate it that I can only see you once or twice a week.
I hate it that I can only talk to you through messages.
And I hate it that it's so hard to tell you everything I've been through the day.
I hate it that I can't have long chats with you.
I hate it that I can't have you for company.
I miss it all.

Sometimes,
the wait can get overwhelming.
And I get tired.

But I can't let all this to drag us down.
I have to be happy with just how things are.
It could have been worse.

I have to pick myself up again.
And get back that enthusiasm.
Cause we deserve so much more.

I love you.

10:24:00 PM
that girl♥

Her name's Nur Hanisah
22 this year.
She's just a simple girl.
With no high expectations.
Just wanna live life as simply as possible.
And achieving her wishes and dreams.
future wishes♥

♥ Class 3 driving license
♥ Registered Pharmacist technician
♥ Savings of $5K by end of 2011
♥ Cook dishes
♥ Engaged and married to Kendrick Liu Kenli
♥ Be a better person
Contact me♥

♥eisha6207@gmail.com
♥FB name: Nur Hanisah Kal-el
Time Travel♥

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