time waits for no one ...

Monday, March 30, 2009
_____________________

Been spending the weekend with him.
I had a great time but it was hard when it's time to say goodbye again.
It's like every single second with him matters to me the most.
Every single message and every call is what keeps me going.

Sometimes it's a struggle to get on.
The only time where I can find my peace of mind is when I prayed.

I guess I kind of made up my mind.
I'm going to wait.
Till as long as it takes.
Whatever obstacle we have to go through,
I'm willing to do it.
Cause I know this is what I want.

Although,
It all seems like a dream now.
But I know it can be achieved if we work hard towards it.
And of course if we are meant too.

All this now,
Is a test for us.
I'm beginning to understand it.

We are dreaming towards the same thing.
And we just have to hold on and be optimistic till it happens.
It will a very long journey.
But still worth it.

I only know that I love him.
And every part of my being needs to be with him.

1:02:00 AM

Tuesday, March 24, 2009
_____________________

Dede's back.
At least for the last weekend.
For now,
He's serving his BMT.
The next time I will see him will be in 2 weeks time.
Haiz...
Another long long wait...
And I know this is just the beginning.
When he start overseas training,
I won't be able to see him for months.

Damn.
I'm worried for him...
I know he's going to be okay.
A lot of guys went through and survived NS.
I guess till the day I see him in one piece and hear it from him,
Then,
I'll be really convinced he's fine.

I'm thinking if all this waiting will be worth it.
Will he be seeing me with open arms?
We will drift away eventually?...
Cause communication between us is limited.
But I know in my heart I will not let that happen.
I will sacrifice whatever I can to make this work.

I will be understanding of his need to commit to trainings.
I can't pressure him further.
I know that it's not easy.
He's trying his best.
I just have to take things as it is.
Not to expect too much.

And I just hope that at the end of this all it will be worth it.
That the future will be bright for us.

It going be miserable for me.
The longing and worrying all the time.
Somehow I hate it.
But when I see him,
That smile and the way he look at me,
All the miseries will all be gone.
As always.
I just have to hold on.
And be strong.
Till the day comes.
=D.

Well,
While he's busy,
I guess I have to make myself busy too.
I'm planning of learning driving as soon as my pay comes.
And work more I guess.
And spending more time with friends that I've been neglecting.
Catching up with my readings...
And the list goes on.
I have to stop moping around.

Oh!
He bought me a lot of gifts from London/Paris...
Apparently,
He bought more things for me than himself.
LoL...
And I love them all.
Hehe.

P.S: He just called and will be booking out this Saturday! Wee! =DD.
And he just have to add on to my worries.
He said that it's hell in there and he can't wait to book out.
Feel really bad for him =(.
Dede have to hold on, get through it and be proud of what you have manage okie?
I'm proud of you and I love you.
You can do it!

10:15:00 PM

Wednesday, March 18, 2009
_____________________

I want to rant.
I need to rant.
Cause I'm going crazy soon.
Just ignore this post if you want.
Haha.

I'm frustrated and disappointed.
He haven't been contacting me since like Monday.
And initially he promised me that he will, everyday.
Bloody.
I waited and waited.
Send ONE sms very hard meh?
Grrrr....

I hate this longing feeling.
It just suck to miss someone.
And I have been trying real hard not to think about it.
Just get on with my own business like nothing happened.
Easier said than done though.
Cause everything reminded me of him.
Darn it.
All this waiting is torturing.

Anyways,
My results are out.
I guess it's not so bad although it's kinda bad.
-_-.
At least I manage to get one A.
Hehe.

I really hope I will do better next time.
ITP has really open my eyes.
Haha.

And and ITP kinda sucks.
The task I have to do is sometimes unbelievable.
But I guess still somehow manageable.
I'm learning new things almost everyday.
That's good I guess.

Just a few more days till I see him.
I can endure this.

Well,

Till here then.

Tata.

10:05:00 AM

Monday, March 16, 2009
_____________________

[Nobody Knows It But Me]

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more every day
And I'm dyin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real, even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely,
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

(Music, hmm...no one knows)

I carry a smile
When i'm broken in two
And i'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

I Lie awake it's a quarter past 3
I'm screamin at night
If i thought you'd hear me yeah,
My heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get,
you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel

A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

(nobody)

Tomorrow morning
i'mma hit the dusty rod gonna find you wherever,
ever you might go
And i'm gonna let go of my heart
And hope you come back today

Nights are lonely,
The days are so sad
(No one knows)
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
(Nobody knows)
And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

The nights are lonely,
The days are so sad and
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

1:15:00 AM

Thursday, March 12, 2009
_____________________

He's off to London last night.
And I think he should be arriving there soon.
Long flight.
Haha.
I'm anxiously waiting for his call.

Anyways,
I met his dad for the first time yesterday.
Surprisingly,
He's dad is very friendly and I don't have to make small talks.
Cause he always have something to say.
Haha.

I'm counting the days till he will come back.
9 more days!

Well,
Dede enjoy your trip there.
Behave yourself and must take care ok?
I'll be waiting for to come back...
=).

2:10:00 PM

Saturday, March 7, 2009
_____________________

I have been wanting to blog.
But just can't really find the time...

Well,
A lot of things had happened since the last time I post.
Hmmmm...
The exams are over.
I think i did quite badly...
But never mind.
It's over.

And I started my attachment at SIMTECH.
It's like an hour journey to work everyday.
But kind of get use to it by now.
Basically,
My job is do some research for them.
Run errands and Admin stuffs.
The only thing I find challenging is when they need me to share my Electrical knowledge.
Which I really forgotten most things...
So,
I had to do revisions...
Imagine that...

Just saddened that I can't have any holidays this semester.
Working most of the time.

And I guess I should made it official...
Me and him are back together.
Somehow I knew that he will be back.
I resisted but I knew that I need us to be back...
And all that had happened did really open my eyes.
I'm being more cautious now.
And really learning.

I have quite a few things to deal with.
Him leaving Singapore to London/Paris real soon.
For like 10 days.
And that's like only the start of my countdown.
He will be in Navy, 2 days after he came back.
I guess he will be inside for 5 years...
Haiz.
So little time left.

Anyways,
I have my job(s) to distract me.
And school and graduation.
Quite a few things to look forward too.
It's time I put more effort in it.
=D

That's it for now.

Till next time...

Tata

12:17:00 AM

that girl♥

Her name's Nur Hanisah
22 this year.
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