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Wednesday, April 29, 2009
_____________________

Sometimes life get really complicated.
And I learn it's the way how you choose to see it.
You can see all the bad things that are happening.
All the negative things occurring around you.
Or you can choose to see the good things in life and enjoy yourself.
And it ironic that for you to have the good things, you have to face the consequences later.
It makes me wonder,
How can anyone be happy?

I have been trying really hard to look at the bright side of things.
Dede been in camp for almost 3 weeks now.
I occupied myself with things to do.
Making sure that I got everything done and right.
Just so I have something that I can be proud of.
Sometimes I failed,
But I pick myself up and just get over it.
The fact is I've been running away from the guilt that I felt.

And I know in time I will have to face it.
But maybe it will happen again.
And this time I don't know how I'm going to face it.

I lied to make him happy.
And I learn that it hurts me more.
I tried to get it right.
But I always end up with this wall that is freaking hard to break down.
It's eating me up inside.

Why is it that I need him so badly?
Why does it hurt to love him?
Why am I sacrificing for him?
How come he knows all the right things to say?
Why does he love me so much?
How did he melt my heart just like that?
How can he know what I'm thinking?

But why can't he see what I really need?

Does it matter how I feel?

So many questions.
And I don't have the answer for it.
I'm really tired from fighting.
And I just want it to end.
Please,
Let it go.

1:45:00 AM
that girl♥

Her name's Nur Hanisah
22 this year.
She's just a simple girl.
With no high expectations.
Just wanna live life as simply as possible.
And achieving her wishes and dreams.
future wishes♥

♥ Class 3 driving license
♥ Registered Pharmacist technician
♥ Savings of $5K by end of 2011
♥ Cook dishes
♥ Engaged and married to Kendrick Liu Kenli
♥ Be a better person
Contact me♥

♥eisha6207@gmail.com
♥FB name: Nur Hanisah Kal-el
Time Travel♥

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